tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33734003483193378182024-02-07T03:52:07.122-08:00Andrew Millard's BlogPortfolio management for cautious investors.C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.comBlogger149125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-14977102902292759082014-12-17T11:54:00.000-08:002014-12-17T11:56:11.505-08:00Lesson 32: Never stop playing.<style>
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<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span><br />
<br />
<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy of everyone
else.</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—William
Rotsler</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">It hardly needs to be said that human beings would rather
have fun than suffer through endless hours of drudgery and sorrow. The way you
go through life—enjoying it, detesting it, or anything in between—is mostly a
matter of attitude. And we’ve clearly established that you have the capacity to
choose your attitude. </span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Still don’t believe that? Consider the story of the Pike
Place Fish Market in downtown Seattle, Washington. You may have had a job or
two that you considered to be unglamorous—flipping burgers, mowing lawns,
waiting tables, bagging groceries—but try being a fishmonger.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">At Pike Place Fish Market, the workers get up at four in the
morning and make their way down to the fish dock to meet the commercial fishing
boats as they arrive with their catch. They prepare the cold, smelly fish and
arrange them for display in the market—which, although covered, is open to the
air. They open at 6:00 <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">am </span>and sell
raw fish to various customers.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The work is hard and the conditions are often tough because
of the cold, damp weather in the Pacific Northwest. When the long day is over,
the workers are tired, cold, and sore, and they stink to high heaven. You’d
expect that most of them hate their jobs, and you wouldn’t blame them if they
did.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">But the employees of Pike Place Fish love their jobs—and far
from spending their workdays in drudgery, they literally have a blast from
beginning to end. They joke with customers, throw fish at each other as if they
were footballs, and laugh at themselves and each other from morning to night.
The market is a beehive of activity and laughter; people come from all over the
world to visit Pike Place Fish Market.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">This little company has gained fame because its employees
enjoy working at jobs that most people would hate. Their secret? In 1986, owner
John Yokoyama and his team made a decision to have fun and to be great with
people—and they’ve been doing it ever since. That fun is infectious: it rubs
off on customers, who return it back to the workers. It becomes a
self-sustaining cycle.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re never too old to have fun—and
whatever job you have, it can be fun if you choose to make it so. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-80127494366968643702014-12-10T11:01:00.001-08:002014-12-10T11:01:57.594-08:00Lesson 31: Set goals.
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<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span></b></span>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Without goals, and plans to reach them, you are like a ship
that has set sail with no destination.</span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Fitzhugh
Dodson</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">You’re lucky to be reading this, actually. You’re about to
learn about one of the great secrets to success: goals. Although goals are
vital to success, most people never give them a thought. So let’s take a moment
to think about them. </span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">You set goals every day, whether you realize it or not. In
its simplest form, a goal is just a decision to do something. “I’m going to get
out of bed, take a shower, have breakfast, and go to work.” </span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">There—you’ve just set four goals. In no more than a couple of
hours, you will have accomplished them all. And while you’re carrying them out,
you’re setting new goals. “I think I’ll stop and get gas. And when I get to
work, I need to finish that thing I didn’t get to yesterday.” And so it goes,
every hour of every day.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Now let’s just carry that same concept a little farther—maybe
a lot farther. The kind of goals we’re talking about now are conscious,
measurable, long-term goals.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">When you were a full-time student, you probably saw little
need for those long-term goals. As a kid, your goals were pretty much set for
you by your parents, teachers, and school routine: get through the school year
with good grades, have a fun summer, and go back to school the next year with
the same goals. The process was so universal, simple, and repetitive that you
likely gave it no thought at all.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The days of having your goals set by others are gone for
good. From now on, you must set your own goals—and you need to start thinking
much, much bigger than you have up to now.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Think of it as if you were taking a road trip. First, you
decide where you want to go—your destination. Then you look at the various
routes available and decide which one to take.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The destination is the goal. The route is your strategy for
achieving the goal. It doesn’t matter what the destination is or how far away
it is; once you have settled on the destination—the goal—you know you’ll
eventually arrive. The actions you take between now and then will determine
your success in getting there.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Decide
now to be a goal setter. Your future depends on it. </span></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-87421166705933637012014-12-03T10:57:00.000-08:002014-12-03T10:57:16.362-08:00Lesson 30: Enthusiasm is infectious.
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</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></i></div>
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">
<!--EndFragment--></i><br />
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Nothing is easy to the unwilling. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Thomas
Fuller <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><o:p><br /></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">It’s true: nothing is easy to the unwilling. In fact, one
might say that nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Life ain’t for sissies, as they
say.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">But why would you want to make it any harder than it has to
be? Why not do everything possible to make it easier and more enjoyable? Life
is a great, fun adventure—and if you treat it that way, you’ll lighten the
burden for yourself and those around you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Take the late Steve Irwin, Australia’s famed “Crocodile
Hunter,” as an example. He was so enthusiastic about his work that you couldn’t
help becoming interested yourself. Irwin knew the secret value of enthusiasm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">There’s no denying that people are drawn to enthusiasm. It’s
true that some people are enthusiastic to the point of being annoying, but
that’s not the person I’m talking about. I’m talking about the person who gets
excited about doing worthwhile tasks, who throws herself into every assignment
with energy and a smile on her face. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">We’ve all known enthusiastic people, and we often wonder how
they do it. Each of us has things that excite our own enthusiasm, but those are
usually subjects or areas that hold a special interest for us. How can some
people seem to be interested in almost everything?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The answer is simple: they <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">decide</i> to be interested, and in doing so, they decide to be
enthusiastic. Enthusiastic people not only do a better job, but they inspire
those around them to do better as well. Enthusiasm is a self-chosen trait that
makes work easier and makes you more valuable to others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Obviously, you’ll find it easier to be enthusiastic about
some jobs and subjects than others. And some days it will be hard to work up
enthusiasm for anything. Do it anyway—it’s worth the effort.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Don’t
fall into the trap of thinking that enthusiasm is for suck-ups. That’s a
juvenile attitude that only hurts you. You’re not a juvenile anymore, and you
can’t afford to think like one. Enthusiasm can make your life easier, more fun,
and more rewarding—both financially and otherwise. And as a bonus, your
enthusiasm will also benefit everyone around you. Try it—you’ll like it! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-30142218576137409572014-11-19T10:39:00.000-08:002014-11-19T10:39:09.571-08:00Lesson 29: Put your shoulder into it.
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">If you’re gonna be a bear, be a grizzly.</span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Unknown</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Effort is essential to success, but it never ceases to amaze
me how few people seem to understand that simple fact.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I have hired quite a few employees in my time; I have also
fired a few. The old saying is true: it’s hard to find good help. A good,
hard-working employee is hard to come by. All it takes is a little honest
effort and a good attitude to stand out.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Most employers have an awful time finding and keeping good employees.
It seems that many people work harder at avoiding effort than they would at
just doing a good job. They’re determined not to do any more than the bare
minimum. What’s more, they think they are owed a living.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">What these poor souls don’t realize is that the world doesn’t
owe them anything at all. They seem to think that they can—and should—get
something for nothing, or get more out of something than they put in. But
that’s not the way life works. Nothing worthwhile is accomplished without
sacrifice.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Everything in nature operates in this way. Just spend a
little time watching common tree squirrels on a fall day, and you’ll see what
I’m talking about. A squirrel must store sufficient food in order to survive
through the winter. Have you ever seen a squirrel sitting, resting, and
watching other squirrels gather nuts for him? Of course not. Every one of them
works incessantly, collecting and storing his or her own food supply.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The same applies to people. It’s natural for each of us to do
our fair share, and a person who does less is bound to have a negative
self-image. That person is like a leech, sucking from the efforts of others.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">You
would do well to let that sink in: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">the
world owes you nothing</i>. You must earn your keep, pull your own weight. One
of the simple secrets to success is that if you pull more than your own
weight—if you do more than you’re paid for—you will stand out from the crowd.
You’ll automatically make yourself indispensable. And you’ll almost certainly
be rewarded for it. </span></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-84569656533554999872014-11-05T11:17:00.001-08:002014-11-05T11:20:30.393-08:00Lesson 28: Loyalty, properly placed, will take you far.<style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span></i><br />
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I’ll take fifty percent efficiency to get one hundred percent
loyalty.</span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Samuel
Goldwyn</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Milton Hershey’s rags-to-riches saga is more than the story
of just one man. Throughout his difficult journey to success, the milk
chocolate mogul had the undying support of three people: his mother, his Aunt
Mattie, and his friend William Lebkicher. They provided Milton encouragement
and financial support. Had it not been for them, Hershey would not have been
able to succeed. And when Milton succeeded, his supporters shared in the
success.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">That’s loyalty. Loyalty has been defined as devotion to a
cause; we can also view it as devotion to a person. Sometimes, the cause and
the person are one and the same.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Loyalty is an important trait to possess, but you must place
it properly. Be sure that the person or cause to whom you are loyal deserves
your loyalty.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The Jonestown tragedy is a classic case of misplaced loyalty.
Jim Jones was the charismatic leader of a religious sect. In 1978, he led his
followers in a mass suicide ritual where they drank Kool-Aid laced with poison.
Over 900 people died, including 276 children. Jones certainly was unworthy of
loyalty, and yet hundreds were willing to go to their deaths for him—and take
their innocent children with them.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">By contrast, Milton Hershey used his wealth to build an
entire town, complete with schools, housing for employees, public transit, and
150 acres of parklands. He also established a residential school for orphaned
boys, to which he gave the vast majority of his wealth. The school is still in
operation today, serving nearly 1,400 underprivileged boys and girls from
across the nation. Clearly, Hershey was a man deserving of loyalty.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Employers prize loyalty in their employees. Loyal workers are
partners in success: everyone is pulling for the enterprise to succeed. It’s as
if everyone were in the same boat, rowing together to get to the destination. A
few people pulling in the wrong direction can wreak havoc.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">When
you find someone who truly deserves your loyalty, give it to them. If they’re
really worthy, they’ll be loyal to you as well, and you’ll both benefit. </span></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-51213220389835483752014-10-29T10:51:00.000-07:002014-10-29T10:51:14.142-07:00Lesson 27: Make your own luck.
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</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></i></div>
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">
<!--EndFragment--></i><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">What we call luck is the inner man externalized. We make
things happen to us.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Roberston
Davies <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Luck is real. But hoping for good luck to come to you is a
poor strategy. And using bad luck as an excuse to underachieve is just as weak.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Yes, you could win the lottery. People do all the time.
Somebody has to win, as they say, so it might as well be you, right? All
true—you certainly <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">could</i> win—but you
won’t. It’s been said that the government-sponsored lottery is a tax on fools,
and that’s not far wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Bad luck exists as well, but it doesn’t have to rule your
life. In 1876, a candy maker with a fourth-grade education opened a business in
Philadelphia; it failed miserably. He moved to Denver, where he failed again.
This was followed by more failed ventures in Chicago, New Orleans, and New
York. Talk about bad luck.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Finally, after ten years and repeated failures, he returned
to his family home in rural Pennsylvania, disgraced and broke. With one more
loan, he started yet another candy company. Using everything he had learned
from his string of bad luck, he was at last able to pull off a success—a big
success.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The candy maker’s name was Milton Hershey, and the successful
company he started was the Hershey Chocolate Corporation. As of this writing,
the Hershey Company has annual sales of almost $5 billion and the company
itself is valued at nearly $12 billion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">It’s been said that luck is what happens when preparation
meets opportunity. That was certainly the case with Milton Hershey. At each of
his “bad-luck” stops, he learned something that that would become useful one
day. All of his experience and hard-earned knowledge contributed to his
development of the formula for Hershey’s Milk Chocolate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">If there is a secret to having good luck, it can probably be
summed up in this famous quote from Samuel Goldwyn: “The harder I work, the
luckier I get.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">You
can make your own luck as well. Step one is to take responsibility for your own
success or failure. Do what you love, and stick with it. When you suffer a
setback, take away useful knowledge from the experience. Have faith, and keep
at it. You’ll get lucky soon enough. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-54193967147827193832014-10-22T10:32:00.001-07:002014-10-22T10:35:06.415-07:00Lesson 26: Live a life of integrity.<style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span></i></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally
faithful to himself. </span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Thomas
Paine</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">As we have said, personal happiness involves a decision, but
along with the decision must come action—action that aligns your behavior with
your values and beliefs. That’s integrity.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">In constructing a building, all the structural components
must fit together perfectly for the structure to hold up against the forces of
nature. When the pieces are all properly connected to one another, from the
bottom of the foundation to the top of the roof, the building is said to have
structural integrity.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The same holds true for people. Earlier, we talked about your
values as well as your priorities. Your values and your priorities must be in
agreement with each other, and your actions must be consistent with both. If
you value honesty, you must tell the truth—all the time. If your family is
important to you, you must spend time with them. If you prize friendship, you
must be a good friend to others.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Every time your actions conflict with your beliefs, your own
structural integrity is weakened. You’ll have a problem any time that happens,
and if the disconnect is major, you’ll have a major problem.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">A good example would be a public figure, such as a government
official or prominent minister who rails against child abuse or pornography. If
the official or minister gets caught doing the very thing he condemns, the
result is justifiable public outrage. But even if the person doesn’t get
caught, he still has a huge problem. Imagine the self-inflicted torture of such
a person. It would literally be a personal hell.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Obviously, this would be an extreme case and—one would
hope—extremely rare. But none of us is perfect. To expect perfection from
yourself is unrealistic, although it is a worthy goal. Everyone falls short of
being their ideal person at some point and to some extent. The point is to make
an honest effort to be your best self by consciously aligning your actions with
your values and priorities. When you get off track, get back on.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: small;">Integrity
is a crucial ingredient of a happy existence. As you strive to live each day
with integrity, you’ll view yourself as someone deserving of your own respect.
You’ll almost certainly like yourself. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-17648973809895491942014-10-15T11:16:00.000-07:002014-10-15T11:18:23.613-07:00Lesson 25: Commit to excellence.<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it.</span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—George
Halas</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">My first job out of college was with a consumer finance
company. This company loaned small sums to people so they could buy things like
appliances, TVs, and stereo systems. Most of our customers didn’t have much
money—that was why they needed a loan to buy a television set—and many of them
frequently fell behind in their payments.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">My job was to phone customers who fell behind and badger them
to send in a check. If they fell too far behind, I would have to go to their
home—often with a U-Haul truck and police officer in tow—and repossess their
furniture.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Not surprisingly, I hated that job. The hours were long and
the work disagreeable. I spent my days phoning people who didn’t want to talk
to me—I had to use an assumed name just to prevent them from hanging up on me.
When I finally did get someone on the phone, the resulting conversation was
usually depressing. My success rate in collecting back payments was abysmal. Most
of my coworkers were grouchy because none of them wanted to be there either. </span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Fed up, one day I called my father to share my misery and
tell him that I was planning to quit. His response surprised me. He discouraged
me from quitting. In fact, he suggested that the problem was not with the job
but with me. “If you leave now, you will have been defeated by the job,” Dad
said. “Stick with it a while longer. Learn to like it—get good at it. Then, if
you want to quit, you’ll walk out with your head high.”</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Properly chastened, I went in to the office the next day with
a whole new approach. I said to myself, “I have to be here all day, so I might
as well do the very best I can.” I worked harder and came up with new ways to
reach my customers. And it worked. Before long, my success rate was up, people
took my calls, and many of my customers started paying their bills on time. I
found myself actually enjoying my job. When I finally quit a few months later,
I left feeling good about myself and confident about the challenges ahead.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Whatever
you find yourself doing, resolve to give it your very best. You’ll find that
you’re more effective, the work will seem easier, and people will recognize you
as a cut above the ordinary. Before you know it, you’ll be leaving the complainers
and slackers behind—and you’ll be on your way to bigger and better things. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-71449203388838759032014-10-08T11:39:00.003-07:002014-10-08T11:39:48.514-07:00Lesson 24: Make a decision.
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<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span></i></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is
shaped. </span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Anthony
Robbins </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Want to know a secret? The very act of deciding is often more
important than the decision you make. Here’s what I mean:</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">In your life, you’ll be faced with many decisions. Some will
be important, weighty choices; some will be small and relatively
inconsequential. In some cases, the right answer will present itself, so the
decision will be easy. At other times, there will be no clear-cut “right” answer.
You’ll struggle. Which should you choose: door number one or door number two?</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Here’s my advice: decide. Pick one—either one. Make a
decision—and then make the decision work.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Remember, this is a case where there’s no clear-cut answer.
Unless you’re expecting additional information that will help you make a more
informed choice, you’ll just have to choose. So <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">choose</i>. Then, make a commitment to the decision you have just made,
and make it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">work</i>.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">If there’s no obviously right way to go, then there’s
probably no wrong answer either. In that case, either decision can work for you
if you make up your mind to make it work. What you do after the decision is
very important—probably more important than the decision itself.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Decision-making is an important skill for everybody, but
those who are especially good at it are likely to go far in life. Here’s
another secret: the real skill here is decisiveness, which is the ability to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">make</i> a decision—any decision—and follow
through with it. Nobody can read the future. Just make that decision and start
moving. Others will follow.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Now, of course once you start going down the road, if you
find that you’re clearly headed for disaster, then you may need to change
direction. But even in that case, you have to start down the road before you
can learn that it’s the wrong road.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">In
Robert Frost’s <i>The Road Not Taken</i>,
the poet finds himself in the woods, facing a choice of two divergent roads. He
must choose. Which road should he take? He writes, “[I] looked down one as far
as I could/ To where it bent in the undergrowth.” At crunch time, you can only
see so far. The important thing is to choose a path and start walking. </span></span></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-84207559558895528962014-10-01T10:51:00.000-07:002014-10-01T10:51:43.939-07:00Lesson 23: Helping others is the only true wealth.
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<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span></i></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone
monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others. </span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Pericles
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The world should be a better place for your having been here.
That’s the real point of life. And where better to serve others than in your
chosen profession?</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The pursuit of money is all well and good. But if it only
served to enrich you personally, what good would it be? More to the point, what
good would you be?</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I once met a very wealthy elderly lady who gave me a tour of
her palatial home. It was filled with many exquisite objects, including
original pieces by famous artists. As I complimented her on all the beautiful
things, she replied sincerely, “They are lovely, aren’t they? After all, I
think the only real point of life is to collect as many beautiful things as
possible.”</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">What a tragedy. Here was a woman with the means to do a great
deal of good with her wealth, yet she didn’t even realize it. Ebenezer Scrooge
had nothing on her.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Contrast that conversation with the story of Mother Teresa.
Born in Macedonia, a small country in southeastern Europe, she became a nun at
the age of eighteen. For over 61 years, she worked in the slums of Calcutta,
India, caring for some of the poorest, most neglected people on the planet. In
1950 she started the Missionaries of Charity, an order that serves the poorest
of the poor throughout the world. She received the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979.
Today, her order and its supporting groups—over one million coworkers
worldwide— serve poor and outcast people across the globe.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">When she died, penniless, in 1997 at the age of eighty-seven,
Mother Teresa was in many ways the richest person on Earth. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Sure,
it’s great to have money. As Sophie Tucker said, “I’ve been rich, and I’ve been
poor. Believe me, honey, rich is better.” Just remember that there is more than
one kind of wealth. If you ever have to choose—and you might—I highly recommend
the non-money kind.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-48981074892133883352014-09-24T12:00:00.001-07:002014-09-24T12:02:12.613-07:00Lesson 22: Serve others, and you will be rewarded.<style>
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<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<br />
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
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--</style><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I slept and dreamed that life was joy.</span></i></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I awoke and saw that life was service.</span></i></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I acted, and behold, service was joy. </span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Rabindranath
Tagore </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">We talked earlier about making yourself useful. Here’s
another way to put it: serve others.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">In his audio program <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Lead
the Field</i>, Earl Nightingale makes the point that the extent of your success
will be in direct proportion to the extent of your service to others. Think
about this for a moment, and you’ll see that it makes perfect sense.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">If an organization had an employee who did nothing—just sat
around playing Solitaire all day—that employee wouldn’t last very long. He or
she would be dead weight. On the other hand, an employee who accomplished twice
as much as the average worker would be considered indispensable, and would
likely receive a higher paycheck and faster promotions than the average.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Employees will sometimes say, “They can’t expect me to do
that extra work,” or “That’s not in my contract.” Then they complain that
they’re not paid enough or are not appreciated. But they’re getting just what
they deserve; to expect more is to deny reality.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">It’s a pretty simple concept: you can’t expect something for
nothing. You wouldn’t expect to be hired to manage a large corporation straight
out of school; you’ve done nothing to earn it. By the same token, you can’t
expect a big raise or promotion without making a sufficient contribution to
deserve such a reward.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">While all human beings have equal value as persons, some
clearly have skills, training, and experience that are more valuable than
others. One doesn’t make it into this group right away; it usually takes years
of concentrated effort to get there. These valuable people are in great demand
precisely because they are so rare. As a result, they usually command higher
financial rewards for their work.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">But
money is by no means the only reward to be had from work—indeed, it’s probably
less important than the personal fulfillment derived from a job well done. A
fat paycheck is a hollow reward if it isn’t accompanied by a sense of
accomplishment and the satisfaction that you are making the world better
through your work. So embrace the idea of service. That’s where the real
rewards are. . </span></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-26136129500698599532014-09-17T12:16:00.000-07:002014-09-17T12:16:55.209-07:00Lesson 21: Never underestimate the value of experience.
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<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Life is half spent before we know what it is.</span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—George
Herbert</span></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
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<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Young adults usually don’t fully appreciate the value of age
and experience. This frequently comes up during your first job search. The thought
often goes something like this:</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“They say they want someone with experience, but how can I
get experience unless they hire me? And besides, my youth and energy more than
make up for my lack of experience.”</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Well, the truth is that experience is the best teacher you
will ever have. And while youth and energy are wonderful (as you get older,
you’ll envy those traits in younger people), experience is just as
wonderful—and over time becomes even better. While youth and energy fade with
time, your bank of experience continues to increase until the day you die.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">We place a high value on those things that cost us a lot,
right? Youth and energy are free; they are naturally present in young adults.
But experience—ah, now <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that</i> is
earned. Experience is what Harry Truman referred to as “the school of hard
knocks.” Its cost is measured in time, sweat, and pain—the pain of your own
mistakes. Abigail Van Buren once said, “If we could sell our experiences for
what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires.”</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">In his autobiography, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Up
Till Now</i>, William Shatner describes how he learned to act, not by attending
acting school, but by performing in plays. As a young member of a Canadian
theater troupe, he played a variety of roles in a variety of shows in front of
a variety of audiences. “I had no formal acting training,” he writes. “I had my
own method: I said my lines as if I were the character…. The audience taught me
how to act. If I did something and the audience responded, I did it again. So
this experience of working every night…was my acting class.”</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Think of the very best teacher or professor you ever had.
Think of all the wondrous and important things you learned from her or him. All
those lessons will pale in comparison to what you will learn from that greatest
of all teachers: experience. You may not believe that right now, but I
guarantee that you will one day. Class has just started.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Reread this in twenty years, and see if you agree with me
then. </span></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-73837866445089877862014-09-10T07:38:00.000-07:002014-09-10T07:57:38.671-07:00Lesson 20: Knowledge has its limitations.<style>
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<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
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<br />
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> <span style="font-size: small;"> Education’s purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open
one. </span></span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: small;">—Malcolm
Forbes</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Studies have shown that there is almost no correlation
between how smart a person is and how successful they become. Superior intelligence—even
combined with education and knowledge—just isn’t enough to make you successful.
You need wisdom to go along with it.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I recently read about a young boy in India, Akrit Jaswal, who
had an IQ greater than that of Einstein. In 2001, when he was seven years old,
he performed a real-life surgical operation—I kid you not.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">His eight-year-old patient had been so severely burned that
her fingers had fused together. Living in a poor village, her family couldn't
afford a real doctor, so Akrit was called in. The operation was a success, and
before long Akrit became India’s youngest university student. He showed a great
gift for medicine. At age fourteen, he became convinced that if someone would
fund a laboratory for him, he would be able to cure cancer within a year.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">He traveled to London’s Imperial College, where he met with
some of the world’s leading cancer researchers. He amazed everyone with the
depth and breadth of his medical knowledge. But the researchers soon realized
that, despite his obvious gifts, his theories were unworkable. He came away
understanding that—as smart as he was and as much as he had learned—he had a
very long way to go.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The end of this story has yet to be written. Akrit Jaswal may
yet cure cancer, but I suspect it will take many years—and he certainly won’t
do it on his brainpower and knowledge alone.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Believe it or not, you’re sorely lacking in the knowledge
department. Do you have any idea how rudimentary a high school education, and
even a degree from a very fine college, is? As necessary as such an education
is, it’s still just a start. Even scholars with doctorates often say that the
biggest thing they have learned from their years of in-depth study is how
little they actually know about their specialty.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Understanding the limitations of your present knowledge is
one of the first steps down the long road to wisdom. The good news is that you
already possess everything you need to succeed. Keep learning. The more you
learn, the faster you’ll advance in your life and career. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-72308429789600260272014-09-03T12:01:00.000-07:002014-09-03T12:01:00.345-07:00Lesson 19: Use your God-given talents.
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<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Call on God, but row away from the rocks.</span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Hunter
S. Thompson</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Broadcaster Earl Nightingale told the story of a clergyman
who was traveling through a rural countryside when he came upon an
extraordinarily productive and scenic farm. There were bounteous crops in neat
rows, and all around the freshly painted farmhouse and outbuildings were flower
beds and neatly trimmed shrubs.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The clergyman noticed the farmer taking a break from his
work, so he took the opportunity to strike up a conversation. “The Lord
certainly has blessed you with a beautiful farm,” the minister commented.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Yessir, he has,” replied the farmer, wiping the sweat from
his brow. “And I’m grateful. But you should have seen the place when he had it
all to himself.”</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Many people just show up to work and do the bare minimum.
They complete the tasks that are given to them—and that’s about it. They never
take the initiative to improve their workplace or to really serve the people
around them.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Others see unexplored possibilities in even the lowliest of
duties. They envision a well-tended farm where others see just a job. They
throw themselves enthusiastically into every task, and as a result, they make
everyone around them better.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">You’ve been given a lot. You have a fine mind and at least a
basic education. You have judgment and maturity, both of which will increase
with time. And you live in a country filled with good people and limitless
opportunities. So what do you plan to do with all these blessings?</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">If you believe in God, you may agree with me that he gives us
the tools with which to make our own way and to make the world a better place.
I don’t pretend to know the mind of God, but I suspect he has given us all
these tools so that we can use them to make reasoned decisions, to take
decisive actions, and to work toward the advancement of those worthwhile values
and priorities we set for ourselves.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Use those God-given talents. Apply them to your work, and it
will sing. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-24347864031435307412014-08-27T08:56:00.000-07:002014-08-27T09:00:05.632-07:00Lesson 18: Set your priorities, and follow them.<style>
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<style>
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<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Action expresses priorities.</span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Mahatma
Gandhi</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">In an earlier lesson, we talked about living by a set of
values. Priorities are driven by your values, and in fact some of your values
may also double as priorities. But whereas your values are principles to live
by, priorities are more like a set of rules. Think of your priorities as a list
of the most important things in your life, in ranked order. </span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For many people,
the basic personal priorities include family, career, and religious
development, but personal priorities can go well beyond these. Some may set
their leisure activities as a priority. Athletes place a high priority on
improving their performance, musicians on practicing their craft. Young couples
often want to save money for a new home or a child’s education. </span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">We need priorities because we have a limited amount of time.
We want to make sure we spend our time on things that are important to us,
rather than wasting time on worthless activities. Priorities are our way of
budgeting our time so that we get to the important stuff.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Now that you’ve graduated, your priorities will become even
more important. As we’ve already seen, time becomes more precious as you get
older. And as you enter the world of full-time work, you’re likely to find that
your non-work hours are very valuable to you. You want to make sure you spend
them on activities that are important.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">You may have never thought much about your priorities, but
they’re there, all right. They reveal themselves in your behavior. Wherever you
spend your time and effort, you’ll find a priority.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Whenever our actions don’t match up with our stated
priorities, discontent is sure to result. A man may say that his children are
his number one priority, but if he neglects them, then something’s wrong. He
either needs to change his actions or admit that his kids really aren’t as
important to him as he says they are.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Ask yourself: Where have I been spending my time? What are
the priorities that are revealed in my actions? Are they the priorities that I
want for myself? If not, now is the perfect time to set your priorities, and
then reflect them in your actions. </span></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-66040197800580581872014-08-21T12:09:00.001-07:002014-08-21T12:10:36.653-07:00Lesson 17: Make yourself useful.
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<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
<style>
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</span></b></span></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The be-all and end-all of life should not be to get rich, but
to enrich the world.</span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—B.C.
Forbes</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Having a good heart does not make you a good person.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">That may sound callous, but think about it. What makes for a
good person? Don’t you think that a good person is one who makes the world
better for his having lived there? The fact that you care about something means
absolutely nothing to anyone other than you—until that care takes the form of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">action</i>.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Let’s carry the concept a step further. A caring heart
unaccompanied by action is a recipe for unhappiness. Why? Simple. If you truly
care, then you know you should be doing something, but because you’re not, you
feel like a failure—or worse, a fake.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Let’s take a simple example. My Kiwanis Club spends a few
Saturday mornings each year picking up litter along a local highway. One such
day, as I prepared to leave for litter duty, I asked a friend if he wanted to
come along. He said in all seriousness, “No, thanks. I think that’s just for
show, so other people will think you care. For me, it’s enough to know I
care—it doesn’t matter if anybody else knows.”</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Hmmm. That’s not an uncommon view for a kid, but it doesn’t
wash for an adult—even a young adult like you.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The truth is I didn’t really care much about that road
litter; I never really noticed it. And I doubt that anyone recognized my
hunched figure as I picked up beer cans and McDonald’s bags. But I was out
there cleaning up while my friend was at home on the couch, “caring.” Even though
I didn’t care very much, my actions made the world just a bit cleaner. Who felt
better about himself afterward?</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">This big ol’ world couldn’t care less about your personal
happiness—or about the fact that you “care.” The world wants to know: what are
you doing for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">me</i>?</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The first thing you should do when you get a job is get busy
and try to make things a little easier on everyone around you. By doing so
you’ll quickly become a valuable employee, you’ll put yourself in position for
raises and promotions, and you’ll feel good about the fact that you’re making a
contribution. Keep applying this simple concept, and you’ll never be without a
job for long. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-89096063883975828182014-08-06T09:38:00.001-07:002014-08-06T09:40:04.795-07:00Lesson 16: Life is different now.<style>
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<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
<style>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers
off, and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself.</span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Bill
Gates</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Congratulations on your graduation. They call it a
commencement ceremony for a reason: you’re heading out on your own into the
future. Life’s great adventure is before you. If you embrace it, you can have a
fuller, more meaningful life than you can possibly imagine.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Don’t get me wrong. It won’t be easy—nothing worthwhile ever
is. And it won’t be at all like the life you’re used to. Life in the adult
world is radically different from school life. For example, if you just
graduated from high school, you’re used to a life regulated by the school year
and the school day. The school day is spent in a school building with others of
about your same age. You change classes every hour or so. School ends sometime
around 3:00 in the afternoon. The day closes with extracurricular activities
and/or homework, and maybe a part-time job. College is different, of course,
with its own routines and schedules.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Your authority figures are your parents, teachers and
professors. Your parents provide money for the basics of life, as well as some
luxuries. Adults are authority figures simply because they are adults.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that life is
over. As comfortable as it may have been, it was a child’s life. You’re an
adult now. The life of an adult is better than that of a child—if you make it
so. On the other hand, the responsibilities are much greater, and the price of messing
up is much, much higher.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">For one thing, instead of your parents providing for you,
you’ll have to provide for yourself. In our society, you’re expected to pull
your own weight. If you don’t, you end up completely depending on others. So I
expect you’ll do what is necessary to make your own way.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The daily routine of an adult is generally determined by your
job. There’s no telling what your typical day will be like, but it is highly
likely that your workday will be longer than a typical school day. And those
frequent vacations and days off you’re used to? In your first year on a job,
you’ll be lucky to get a week’s vacation and a few holidays. Other than that,
they’ll expect to see you at work every weekday.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">All
of this is not to scare or depress you. Remember, an adult’s life can be
wonderful. But the change is sudden. Just try not to be too shocked when it
hits you all at once. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-89893946075366180752014-07-30T12:41:00.000-07:002014-07-30T12:41:41.168-07:00Lesson 15: Relax, and expect the best.
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<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Those who look for beauty, find it.</span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Unknown</span></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
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<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<style>
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<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Let’s review the concepts we’ve talked about so far:</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Your attitude is the prime factor in achieving long-term
happiness, career success, fulfilling relationships, and triumph over adversity
(Lesson 1). What’s more, you have complete control over your own thinking (2).
Thinking only of yourself is a recipe for disaster; personal fulfillment comes
from improving the world around you (3). Happiness does not come from your circumstances—if
it is to come, you must create it for yourself (4). And you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">can</i> create it, here and now (5).
Embracing personal responsibility gives you the ability to determine your own
destiny (6). Your personal values system is the internal compass which guides
your actions (7). Time is slipping by; you can’t slow it down, so every moment
is precious (8). Perhaps for the first time, you are now in a position to
really live the Golden Rule (9). Forgiveness gives you the power to liberate
yourself and others (10). The secret to living a regret-free life is to be bold
(11). You can’t always change your circumstances, but you can adapt and make
the most of them (12). Your expectations will probably come true (13). Don’t
feel bad if you haven’t made the most of your life up to now, because it’s
never too late to start creating your future (14).</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The recurring theme throughout this list is as simple as it
is meaningful: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">You have the power to
shape your own destiny</i>.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">That is a fact. If you haven’t thought about it before now,
take a few minutes to let it sink in. That power rests entirely with you.
Nobody can take it from you without your permission.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">So
relax and know that all is well. Start believing that life will bring you
everything you want. Decide to take control of your destiny by taking control
of your life. Expect the best, and know that it will happen for you. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-50364180852372890612014-07-23T08:44:00.001-07:002014-07-23T08:44:23.869-07:00Lesson 14: It’s never too late.Author's note: I am a compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.<br />
<br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Self-forgiveness means accepting the fact that you will never
have a better past.</span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Dan
Sullivan</span></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
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<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">You’re lucky to have your whole life ahead of you. You’re
able to choose how you will live it. Many people wake up in middle age to the
realization that the life they have lived is not the life they wanted. This
often results in regret, disappointment, and a mid-life crisis.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I enjoy watching <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dog
Whisperer with Cesar Millan</i> on the National Geographic Channel. It follows
real-life dog expert Cesar Millan as he works with people and their pets.
Millan finds that problem behavior is more often caused by the human owner than
by the dog.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Many of his clients have rescued their pets from abusive or
neglectful situations. The owners mistakenly believe that their dogs’ behavior
problems are caused by bad memories, when in fact the owner’s worry is to
blame. </span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Millan points out that dogs don’t care about—or even
remember—the past. “Dogs live in the now,” Millan says. “They don’t care about
their past lives. If you give them exercise, discipline, and affection, they
will be happy and well-adjusted.”</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Maybe we could learn a thing or two from dogs. Whatever bad
stuff has happened in the past, leave it there—in the past. You’re an adult
now. Childhood was just the warm-up act; now is the time for you to take
control of your own well-being. As Cesar Millan would say: live in the now. If
a dog can do it, surely so can you!</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Of course, you can’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">just</i>
live in the now. To paraphrase Dickens’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A
Christmas Carol</i>, you should live in the past, the present, and the future.
But don’t let the past rule you.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Who you are today is a composite result of everything that
you have experienced in the past. Recognize that fact, but resist the
temptation to go back. Don’t regret or wonder, “What if?” Your life is here and
now. By the same token, you must look ahead, to the future. Decide where you
want to go, and start moving in that direction. If you don’t, you could find
yourself in a life that goes nowhere.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">So here’s the trick:
cherish all the good stuff from the past, let go of all the bad stuff, and
envision the future that you want for yourself. Then use the present to begin
creating that future. </span></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-14768801664824551672014-07-16T11:13:00.000-07:002014-07-16T11:13:00.869-07:00Lesson 13: Your expectations will usually come true.
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<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
<style>
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<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.</span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Michael
Jordan</span></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
<style>
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<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">It’s called the Pygmalion Effect—also known as the
self-fulfilling prophecy—and it’s real. If we expect a positive outcome, we’ll
probably get it. If we expect a negative outcome, it’s likely to happen.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">A lot of research has been done on school children in this
area. Robert Rosenthal and Lenoir Jacobson performed studies at elementary
schools where teachers were given the names of a select group of high-achieving
students. The teachers were told that because these kids were so intelligent,
they would probably excel over their lower-performing classmates.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Sure enough, those smart kids performed like smart kids. They
got good grades, and they generally showed significant improvement on
end-of-the-year tests. There was only one catch: the “smart” kids weren’t
really any smarter than the others. In fact, they had been chosen completely at
random.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The real difference had been the expectations of the
teachers—and as a result, their treatment of the students. Later studies have
confirmed this effect in adults as well.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Your expectations become your own self-fulfilling prophecy.
This applies to events both big and small. The reason is simple: if you really
believe that you will do a great job, your subconscious mind will guide your
behavior to be consistent with that belief, and you will indeed be an
outstanding employee, student, or whatever.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">If, on the other hand, you view yourself as not being good at
something, you’ll have no motivation to improve. What would be the point? You
know you can’t do it, so why waste your time trying to get better?</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Do you see where this is going? Just knowing about the
self-fulfilling prophecy can be a tremendous help to you in your life.
Remember: you have complete control over your own thinking. It naturally
follows that you have control over your own expectations.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">So what’s it
going to be? You can expect misfortune—and almost certainly bring it on—or you
can expect great things from yourself. Just remember that you have no one but
yourself to blame for your own expectations. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-64814686896313614832014-07-02T09:10:00.000-07:002014-07-02T09:10:58.608-07:00Lesson 12: Be flexible—to a point.
<style>
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<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
<style>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The really happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery when
on a detour. </span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Unknown</span></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<style>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">When I was in graduate school, a professor gave me a
criticism which I took to be a backhanded compliment. “The problem with you,
young man,” he said, “is that you’re always trying to change the rules to suit
you.”</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Obviously, we can’t always change the rules to our liking.
The fact that we don’t agree with something doesn’t mean we can ignore it. You
may think the speed limit is unreasonably low on a certain road, but if you
speed on that road, you’ll still get a ticket. Many, many circumstances are
totally beyond your ability to direct. Your success or failure under those
circumstances will depend largely on your response to them—in other words, you
have to adapt.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Here are a few examples. Let’s say you want a particular job,
but it goes to the boss’s nephew instead. Maybe you’re in love with someone and
want to marry him or her, but for whatever reason it doesn’t work out. Perhaps
the company you work for goes out of business, and you lose your job. A loved
one dies. You’re injured in an auto accident or suffer a serious disease. The
list of possible scenarios is endless.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">These are the proverbial cards that you have been dealt. You
can’t trade them in for another hand; you must play the cards you have right
now. Now is when you must adapt. Recognize the reality and respond accordingly.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">George Washington is one of my favorite historical figures.
Perhaps his greatest trait was his ability to see a situation as it really was,
not as he wished it to be. His actions were guided largely by the situation
itself: he planned his moves to make the best possible use of the
circumstances, and wherever possible, he tried to turn those circumstances to his
advantage.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">You can do the same thing. It’s a two-step process. First,
view every situation through realistic eyes. Don’t kid yourself. Second, shape
your response to make the most of the circumstances. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Of course, this
doesn’t mean that you should give up your personal autonomy or allow yourself
to be tossed and turned like a boat without a rudder. No sailor can control the
wind, but a good sailor uses the existing wind to sail to the destination of
his own choosing. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-prop-change: "Andy Millard" 20081122T1532; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-65410415874864653202014-06-25T11:49:00.000-07:002014-06-25T11:52:21.488-07:00Lesson 11: Be bold.<style>
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<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
<style>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Freedom lies in being bold. </span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Robert
Frost</span></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
<style>
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<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">When my sister Nancy was about thirteen, our mother took her
on a trip to Washington, DC to see the monuments and visit the museums. One
museum housed a temporary exhibit of rocks that had been collected by
astronauts during a NASA moon mission. Nancy and Mom saved this exhibit for the
last day of their trip.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">When they arrived at the exhibit hall, they were met with a
sign that read “Moon Rock Exhibit Temporarily Closed.” My sister was deeply disappointed;
this was to have been the highlight of the trip. But my mother was not to be
denied. She made it clear that she had come to see the moon rocks, and she was
going in, regardless of the sign.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Mom!” Nancy protested. “Can’t you read? You’ll get in
trouble; you might get arrested!” It made no difference. Mom strolled past the
sign and into the deserted hall. A few minutes later, Nancy was horrified to
see her mother being escorted out by a burly security guard who politely but
firmly reminded the little lady that the exhibit was closed.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“See?” Nancy said. “I told you you’d get in trouble!”</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Well,” Mom replied with a quiet smile. “I saw the moon
rocks.”</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Get the point? My mom was bold, and she was successful in her
quest. My sister held back, and she didn’t get to see the moon rocks.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Have you ever heard someone say, “I should have done
so-and-so?” Boldness will keep you from ever having to say that.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">You can express boldness in every aspect of your life,
whether it be big or small. If you want to do something—as long as it’s legal
and worthwhile—do it. If you want a different job or a graduate degree, make up
your mind to go for it. If you’re in a karaoke club and want to sing, then
sing! If you care about someone, don’t be afraid to express how you feel.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Live the life that you want to live. Don’t be held back by
some notion that you aren’t good enough, or that you might fail or be
embarrassed. Don’t let fear keep you from doing what you want to do.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Be bold, my
friend, and you will never have to live with regret. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-64557928587657999172014-06-18T12:27:00.001-07:002014-06-18T12:32:41.503-07:00Lesson 10: Forgive, for your own sake.<style>
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<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<br />
<br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee. </span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—William
Walton</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
<style>
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<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Without a doubt, there will be many times in your life when
others will do you wrong in some way or other. Some of these wrongs will be
accidental, others deliberate. Some will be monsters—life-changers that will
hurt deeply and cause major heartaches.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The people who commit these wrongs will be as varied as the
acts themselves. Coworkers, friends, relatives—there’s no telling where hurtful
events can originate. The most painful source is close family members—a parent,
spouse, or sibling. Worst of all, you yourself may be the source of an
unspeakable action that hurts those you love.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Forgive. As hard as it is, forgive. Forgive everyone. Forgive
them for every wrong.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Most important, forgive yourself. Until you forgive, you
can’t truly move forward. And you must move forward.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Your life lies in the future, not the past. Don’t let the
past hold you back. There’s nothing you can do about the past—it’s gone, and
you can never bring it back. The only time period you have any control over is
the time that’s ahead.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Going back and rehashing past wrongs is a frustrating,
useless exercise that does nobody any good. It’s like picking at a scab. The
way to heal a wound is to leave it alone and let time and nature do their work.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">What is forgiveness? It is a genuine, deep-down, permanent
release from any harsh feelings, resentment, or anger. You’ve heard people say,
“I can forgive, but I can’t forget.” Well, that’s not really forgiveness at
all. Forgive and forget. It’s not easy, but you must do it—for your own sake as
well as others’.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">It’s true: carrying a grudge really is like being stung to
death by a single bee. What’s more, these are self-inflicted wounds; the person
carrying the grudge keeps stinging himself. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Forgiveness
carries the tremendous power to heal and to liberate at the same time. Stop
stinging yourself. Forgive, and get on with your life. And when you are wronged
in the future, forgive again, and again, and again. Leave the past behind, and
keep moving ahead. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-prop-change: "Andy Millard" 20081122T1532; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-28653273867775938522014-06-13T12:43:00.000-07:002014-06-13T12:43:51.757-07:00 Lesson 9: The Golden Rule works.<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
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<style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="msoins"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Do to others as you would have them do to you. </span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Christianity:
Luke 6:31</span></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.
</span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Buddhism:
Udana-Varga 5:18</span></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Do not do to others what you do not want them to do to you. </span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Confucianism:
Analects 15:23</span></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his brother
what he wishes for himself. </span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Islam:
Number 13 of Imam, </span></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">"Al-Nawawi's
Forty Hadiths."</span></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">...Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. </span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">—Judaism:
Leviticus 19:18 </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
<style>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Every major world religion contains a version of what we call
the Golden Rule. Just take a glance at the quotes above, and you’ll get an idea
of how universal this concept is. There’s a reason for this: it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">works</i>.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Let’s be honest: we do everything—and I mean everything—to
serve our own self-interest. That’s not a bad thing; it’s the way we are wired,
the way nature intended it. And it’s what makes the Golden Rule so perfect. </span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">You know exactly how you would like to be treated. You know
how it feels to be treated with respect. You know the kind of service you want
in a restaurant, the loyalty you want from your friends, the kind of love you
want from your family. In every aspect of life, you have a picture of how you’d
like to have others “do unto you.”</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Now, just reverse the roles. Put yourself in that other
person's place. It’s a strikingly simple concept—even a schoolchild can
understand it—but it’s a decidedly grown-up thing to actually pull off. It
doesn’t work for kids because they are virtually incapable of placing another
person’s needs above their own. Adults, on the other hand, have the maturity to
make this noble leap—although some never do.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Here’s where your own self-interest comes in. Just because
you know how you’d like to be treated and are capable of putting yourself in
another person’s moccasins, that doesn’t mean that you automatically treat
others in the way you’d like to be treated. You might have to give up a
hard-earned advantage, take partial blame for something you feel is not your
fault, or be nice to a person you don’t really like. In order for you to live
the Golden Rule all the time, it would have to be clearly in your best interest
to do so.</span></div>
<div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">It is. By treating your fellow humans as you wish to be
treated, you increase your own chances of establishing and maintaining healthy
relationships, whether it be a fifty-year marriage to your soul mate or a
thirty-minute encounter with a waitress at a lunch counter.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">So, take that
leap. Give up an advantage now and then. Accept the blame. Be nice to that
person you can’t stand. The rewards will come back to you as surely as a
boomerang does. Believe it, and it will happen. </span></div>
<div class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373400348319337818.post-40894422617146397042014-05-28T10:52:00.001-07:002014-05-28T10:53:37.892-07:00Lesson 8: Time flies—even when you’re not having fun.<div align="left" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 115.75pt center 3.0in; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
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-</style></span></i><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="msoins"><b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Author's note: I am a
compulsive advice-giver-always have been. When my own son was in high
school, he wasn't interested in his old man's advice so I wrote it down in the
hope that he might change his mind one day. What follows is one piece of
that advice. I trust it applies to all of us, regardless of age.</span></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div align="left" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Too soon
old, too late smart.</span></i></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div align="right" class="ColorfulGrid-Accent11" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">—Old Pennsylvania Dutch saying</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">This is not a complicated concept, but it’s deep, and most
people never wake up to it until late in life.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The great philosopher Ferris Bueller once said, “Life moves
pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss
it.” Truer words were never spoken. Life speeds by in the blink of an eye, and
the older you get, the faster it seems to go.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">In what will seem like two weeks, you’re going to be old. I
don’t mean two weeks older than you are now; I mean old. Even as you read the
words on this page, you are hurtling inescapably toward old age. Short of dying
early, there’s nothing you can do to stop the process.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Most young people don’t really understand that today’s old
fuddy-duddies are yesterday’s young punks. The reverse, of course, is that you
are tomorrow’s old fuddy-duddy. Between now and then, you’ll probably have a
series of jobs and eventually retire; possibly marry and have children and
grandchildren of your own; make a fortune and probably spend most of it; and
experience great excitement, great boredom, great joy, and great anguish.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">In short, what happens between now and old age is the great
adventure of life. Relish it, savor it, enjoy every moment. Imagine the things
you’ll learn, the wisdom you’ll gain, the lives you’ll touch with each passing
day and year. And the process doesn’t stop once you reach old age; the
adventure continues until your final breath.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">But there’s another secret here that you shouldn’t miss. The
process of growing old is the process of living, which is to say that it is a
wonderful and glorious process. It follows, then, that being old is not a thing
to dread, but a badge of honor for a life well spent. It also follows that
those who are old now have a lot to teach you. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="StyleMyrBody12pt" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">You know that time flies. You know that it seems to go faster
with each passing year. Each moment is precious; use it well. As Gandalf said
in Tolkien’s <i>The Fellowship of the Ring</i>,
“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that’s given to us.” </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Decide wisely. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
C. Andrew Millard, CFPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00058944182898161016noreply@blogger.com0